Cardiac trouble and Marfan syndrome
My name is Anna and I am 41 years old. I came across Zhineng Qigong in the Autumn 1998 at which time I joined my first Weekend Course. I joined it because I felt that I had nothing to lose. I had gone through acute surgery of the heart and aorta and then I learned that I suffer from the Marfan syndrome which is a collagenous disease. At that time I did not want to know anything about it, I simply pretended that it did not exist and I tried to live my life as I did before. On the course I had a tingling sensation in the surgical scar and the healing process was swift, resulting in a fine scar.
Depressed
Later when I realized that I could not live my life exactly the way I used to I became depressed and at times I did not want to live anymore. After the Weekend Course I continued to practise a little at home and I joined the organized Evening Training in Gothenburg where I live. I felt that I became cheerful and a little happy after each time. In the Summer of 1999 I joined my first Summer Course.
Moving on
During the time I have practised Qigong I have wished for things to happen which have not occured, and this has prevented me from seeing what has happened. The changes have been mostly mental. I have found the strength to complete my education and I have not taken antidepressants.
In 2002 when I had finished my education I finally got to grips with the social insurance issue and that is largely thanks to Qigong which has made me stronger. There was still a weakening of the aorta and also I had this doctor who did not understand my anxiety. Now I had the strength and guts to persist. After a long period of denial I had realized that I would not have enough stamina to work.
Straighter back and better neck
On the 2004 Summer Course I felt my shoulders slipping backward a little and my whole posture became more straight – everything happens step by step – my swagger is reduced and I am more physically aware of myself.
During the 2005 Summer Course after a Qi regulation I felt that my neck was completely free and relaxed and that gave me such a feeling of freedom. I used to have pain and tension in my neck for as long as I can remember.
Straighter back and increased body height
At the 2:nd Level while we were having a training session I could feel this surge through my body and I was afraid at first, I had felt that before but then I did not dare to let it continue. This time I thought instead: “keep calm, relax” and just let it happen. I could feel my waist and lumbar area relaxing and then my legs moved toward each other, and that would usually make them tensed, but instead my body was straightened out and it gave me a much greater connection to my body and the centre of gravity was directly at the midpoint under my feet. My body posture became completely different. Now, after the Summer Courses, I enjoy the feeling of being one centimetre taller, and it does not feel difficult to straighten my back, but I would rather say it feels nice.
Asking for help
I can feel that I am able to assert myself more and that I can keep a “gentle smile”, which is a precious thing. I feel calmer and safer within and I know my limitations. Before I would feel anxious every time I would have to say no to my friends if there was something I could not do, such as lifting things. Now I can simply say so. Asking for help and talking about my troubles has been a big challenge for me. When you are used to being able to take care of yourself it is very difficult to admit that you need help. My understanding for other people’s problems has also increased.
Qigong has been and still is good for me in many ways. I have found a way to train my body and keep myself going. I’m starting to open up and dare to try things I wouldn’t have because I didn’t know my own limits.
Higher energy level and improved self esteem
For a countless number of times I have sat at home in the evening not having enough vigor to come up with something to do. I have felt that my life slipped by. I’ve been sitting there, angry at myself for being too tired to see my friends, thinking that I’m worthless and this have not been particularly good for my self esteem. By practicing I can get more Qi (life force) and during the last few years I haven’t been as enervated. My self esteem has become much better and if I get tired I allow myself to rest, so easy and yet so difficult! I do not get into the evil circle of depression, tiredness and worry.
Anna Ulin
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