When I took up Qigong several years ago I did not actually realize the poor state I was in. I was a feeble social welfare secretary with only enough energy to cope with what I had to do and I would count the days until my holidays or free weekends. My energy levels were more or less non-existent and my greatest wish was just to sleep.
In 1997 I joined my first Weekend Course but I did not start to practise in earnest and in a goal-oriented way until around New Year 1999-2000. My understanding of it has grown step by step when I had joined my first Summer Course. A clear result after the Summer Course is that I knew what was right for me, I simply made the “right” choices without thinking about it. I met my present boyfriend (he also became a Qigong practitioner) but I would not have realized that he is the right man for me if I had not known myself better. I have gone through several relationships of short and long duration and they were not nice ones. After many trying separations I did not dare to get myself into another relationship. Now I felt more safe, more peaceful and again more interested in sharing my life with another person.
I also started to change my diet and eat things which were good for my body. My physical self-esteem was increased, while before I would think that my body was not good enough, and that there was something wrong with my hips and stomach. They existed only to be slimmed down to nothing. Nowadays I like my body, it has become strong and flexible and I have a much “kinder” and more accepting attitude toward my physical attributes.
My lifestyle changed without my having to make any difficult decisions, I just gradually started to live my life the way which is the proper one for me. I started to listen to my self and what I wanted and I skipped those late nights out partying, which did not lead to anything worthwhile in the long run and which I had actually grown tired of a long time ago. I did not have to think about what was the right thing, it simply came as a result.
When I started to practise I did not have any idea that Qigong would affect me in so many different ways. I was probably in too bad a shape and lacked the strength to understand and share the possibilities of Qigong. As I look back in the mirror at myself, the person I am today versus the person I was before I started to practise in earnest, there is a great difference. There are many changes on the physical and mental levels. On the physical side there is my legs and knees which have been straightened out and I am able to stand absolutely straight with my feet together, something which I could not do even though I have been a “Friskis och Svettis” (a kind of work-out) enthusiast for many years. I also had an incurable enormous swagger which is completely gone. My disposition is different and I can plan far ahead because I know that my stamina and pleasure in doing things will keep. My attitude toward difficulties and problems is different and I am much more secure and confident as a person. In my line of work, which is often characterized by difficult decisions, I am much clearer and calmer when I meet clients and in difficult encounters.
The way ahead was not always that straight, it has been a process and it still is a work in progress, but rather a nice one since I am so curious about how far it is possible for me to develop myself and my qualities.
Magdalena Magnusson
34 years